This is going to be a Long testimony! Only because my last name is Long. I have to be honest with you, I am a bit nervous. It is like telling your family the bad things you did in your life. I couldn’t do this if I hadn’t received Jesus Christ into my life five years ago.
Fifty-six years ago I was born in Wichita, Kansas, the last of six kids. We were poor. There were six kids, one grandmother and two parents living in a two bedroom apartment. I spent most of my time trying to be noticed. My dad was a very quiet man and mother was a talkative parent. I think my parents were just tired of raising kids. My father when I turned 14 gave me two rules. Don’t get thrown in jail and not to get anyone pregnant. With those two rules, I somehow made it through high school. My love of basketball was the only thing that kept me in line. By the way, my dad never came to one game. I never thought my dad loved me, at least I never heard him tell me so. I had some scholarships to go to college but decided to join the Army instead. That is where I was introduced to drinking. That was the beginning of the end of my ambitions. Without getting into graphic detail, the next 30 years of my life were a series of bad choices. I was married at the age of 29 and stayed married for six years. I didn’t drink most of that time, but hated not drinking more than I loved and honored my marriage. The next 15 years were really out of control. I had no long-term relationships. When they got in the way of drinking, I quit them. When I was 46 year old I started feeling the beginning of the consequences or “the bottom.” One Friday I was working at a 3,000 pound press. I was thinking about where I was going to party that night when the machine clamped down on my hand and struck! During the next few minutes, not knowing whether I was going to have a hand I cried out to God, “Please let me have my hand.” This is the old foxhole prayer. “Let me have my hand and I will do anything for God!” Well, the press was released and my hand was intact but cut wide open and smashed. I never got more than 50% use of my hand back. So I got mad at God and started drinking more than ever. Two years later I thought everything was going well. I was at a dance contest about 200 miles from home. I had a few beers and was waiting to dance when I started slurring my words. I tried to stand up and couldn’t. I was having a stroke. Everybody wanted me to go to the hospital right away but I wanted my girl friend to drive me back to Wichita. Another bad choice. While I was in the hospital I cried out to God to let me be able to walk, use my right hand, and talk. Again, God gave me my wishes – just not 100%. So I got mad at God again and my drinking became worse. Now I did not have a job to get in my way. Instead of things getting better, depression set in. In the next year I tried to commit suicide three times. The last attempt scared me into asking for help at the VA. That was March 21, 2000. During my stay on the suicide ward, I heard a voice telling me I was an alcoholic and that I needed treatment.
Be merciful to me O Lord for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. My life is consumed in anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.
-Ps. 31: 9-10
In treatment my counselors would mention a Higher Power a lot. There was never any doubt in my mind who that was for me – Jesus Christ. My question was how and if he would love a mess like me. I called an older brother who had been telling me for years that I needed Jesus in my life. The first thing he asked was what did I need now, money? Was I in jail? I just wanted to talk about Jesus and how I could have Jesus in my life.
I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in Me should stay in darkness.
-John 12:46
By the way, my brother was demonstrating his love for the Lord because he was dying with cancer consuming his body, never complaining, just praising and worshiping his Heavenly Father in an indescribable peace and joy that was radiant from him. All the years of him telling me I needed Jesus and family. I saw Jesus in his walk through the valley! He passed into Heaven October 2004. His life was Proverbs 3:5-6.
Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5-6
I have decided to make it mine. I am not perfect in anyway. Far from it but I am trying to live Psalms 96:1-2.
Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise His name; proclaim His salvation day after day.
-Ps. 96:1-2
A Family Craft
My mother and father used to do a craft project. They made beautiful candles out of brandy snifters and the back windows of old cars. They would take the back window and stripe it with many different colors of glass stain. After it dried, we would wrap it up in a blanket. The kids would then hit it with a baseball bat until it shattered into thousands of pieces. We would then take the pieces and very carefully place them on the snifter with clear glue. It took what seemed like forever because you could only do a small section at a time – otherwise the pieces would get too heavy and slip out of place on the snifter. After the snifter had been completely covered with the many different colors of shattered glass, we would fill all the cracks and crevices with grout. When the grout was dry, we would spray the whole thing with gold or silver paint. Then we would wipe the paint off the stained glass. We would then place a candle in the snifter. The glow of the candle through the stained glass caused a multicolored reflection. The finished product would be beautiful.
I once was a clear window. Through the years, I made a bad choices and my sin stained my life up. After I “hit bottom” I surrendered and repented to Jesus Christ. He lifted me up into His arms and let me know that he loved me just the way I was. After I matured, he wrapped me up into His robe and tapped on me until died to myself and broke into thousands of stained pieces. Now, in His timing, He is placing those stained pieces that I thought were so ugly, onto His snifter or vase. The light of his love is the candle He lovingly placed inside of me. The glow of His love shines through the stained glass window of my soul. I am becoming a beautiful candle craft to glorify my Lord and Savior! When I die, I will be one of those beautiful candle crafts at God’s feet singing holy, holy, holy to Him!
-Wally Long
